Time is such a funny concept for me. I have been counting days for maybe the past week. My mind will think – okay, 4 nights to go…what was I doing 4 nights ago? Does it seem like a long time since then? A short time? Then, last night (or early this morning) when I couldn’t sleep I realized that tonight (one night to go) is just last night and so we are there.
My surgery will start at 7:15 am tomorrow morning. I need to be there at 6 am. I am sorted, organized, packed and ready. I am past ready. Ready to go, ready to be done, recover and move on. If only it were that easy, right?
I had probably the happiest day I have had in a very long time on Friday. I am so grateful that during all the emotional/physical upheaval of the past month, I had a day to relax and just be happy. My sweet friend, Robin Lin (www.robinlin.com) did a photo shoot with me for some “before” shots. I had asked her weeks ago if she had ever done a before/after session for a woman getting a double mastectomy and although she hadn’t, she offered to help capture this process for me. We laughed through a lot of it, quiet through the rest. It was calming, sad, silly and empowering all at once. I could easily shed tears thinking about how much stronger I have become through this process. What a gift.
All is well. My sister is downstairs making dinner, my mom was here for grocery shopping and I am surrounded by my sweet family. I will update as soon as I am able, and hopefully it won’t be too many days from now. I know I have said a million times how up and down my emotions have been the past few weeks, even the past few hours. But right now I am feeling really strong. And I have all of you to thank for helping me get here.
If it’s a broken part, replace it. If it’s a broken arm, then brace it. If it’s a broken heart, then face it. –Jason Mraz